Recently, many people seem to be going through parent difficulties. This is nothing new, of course. But it seems as though the independence gained through graduating high school and entering uni may lead to further conflict between teenagers and their parents, who may feel as though they have no control, while of course teenagers are just like, "why should they control me anyway?!!!"
Parental control is something that teenagers rebel against, even while inwardly acknowledging that their parents only want the best for them and may, indeed, know better. However while contemplating the relationship between parents and children, i began to wonder whether respect for parents on the part of the child was implicit or had to be earned. Or, to go further, whether children still had an obligation to treat their parents with respect even if they themselves were not respected by their parents.
Some time ago, my father said to me, "I am not looking for equality in this relationship."
As soon as he said this, I immediately felt rather disturbed, as though a wrong note had been sounded in a chord. For even if there is no equality in a parent-child relationship at the point when that child is only a teenager, would there not come a time when equality (equilbrium, lol) was achieved? If we consider "capability to look after" as the criteria for "superiority", it would then seem that after that point the "superiority" would shift towards the side of the child, who (then an adult) would then become increasingly "superior"? I guess this means that equality would not be achieved for a while. The point I am trying to make is that although some parents do not anticipate their loss of "superiority", they are unfortunately doomed to become such. Similarly, it is expected and even favourable that teenagers should strive towards greater independence, in light of their increasing "superiority" as opposed to their parents' "inferiority".
Not that I am saying parents are inferior, or anything. Nor that teenagers should ignore the advice of their elders. Simply, that perhaps parents and children should try to think outside of the parent-children relationship, and view each other simply as people...on second thoughts this might lead to bad things.
What do you think? Is equality between children and parents ever achievable, or even desirable? And if so, is teenage rebellion justified?
exercise #9: love
1 year ago